meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize