its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
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Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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