well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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