So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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