we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This is my gift to your gina
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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