haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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