her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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