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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize