This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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