weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize