there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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