I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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