We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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