Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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