there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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