I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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