Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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