i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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