you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize