it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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