I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize