can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize