We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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