forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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