he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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