I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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