yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize