True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize