Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ruined the universe
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize