it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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