She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize