I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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