he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize