Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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