who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize