508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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