my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize