dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize