don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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