Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize