is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize