oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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