if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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