Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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