I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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