You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
we're so committed to being not committed
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