Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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