do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize