I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think your dad took our porno
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize