so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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